Blog

  • Just a mirror

    I was not in the picture much

  • Watch bloom

    Losing burst control

    Grab hold of Jesus

    Imagine planting

    Your own seed thoughts

    And watering it

    And being patient with it

    Not rushing it

    Allowing it room to grow

    Only pruning if it got out of control

    Snatched victory pose

    Revelation only revealed with trust

    In faith

    Hold strong to the Lord

    It really will save you

    Jesus will save you

    Each time

    You dove back in

    To try and save another

    But you can’t do it

    Without me

    So keep going

    As long as you stay close

    To me

    Enough to touch

    Enough to turn around once

    And notice if I am there

    I will always answer

    Jesus is King

    Final initial thought

    Sendy is not stronger

    Than Jesus

    He saves lives

  • Real control

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    0432 wake inhale potty gummy

    Control potty speed

    Change from a light switch

    To a dimmer switch

    Real control is doing that

    With your emotions

    To be able to control the switch

    It needs to all be off

    To know what it feels like

    Like feeling around in the dark for a light switch

    feel around

    You can find it by choice

    Or it can be found for you by someone else

    My emergency kill switch

    Was found early

    My mom and dad showed me how to find it

    With guilt

    Then anger

    Then abandonment

    Guilt to stay

    Anger to go

    Waking up alone

    Seeking safety in dad

    He left

    Seeking it in mom

    She left at night

    I woke up crying alone

    For a long time

    Until mom woke up from the closet

    At least she is here

    She just does not want to be around me

    I guess love is not to be close

    Just love from a far

    By just being there

    Is love

    She provides the food

    So just trust her

    Tame the lion

    Of love

    Of anger

    Comfort the child

    Of sadness

    Of pain

    Look around

    Find compassion

    Find forgiveness

    Find freedom

    Godwink of counterintuitive

    Control

    And power

    Good is Good
    aLl the tkme

    Final initial thought

    Everything you know

    Is true

    Just incomplete

    Control/power/memory

    Purple rock

    I cannot convince you of anything

    If I could

    You would be convinced to be with me by now

    You do not listen to me

    About me

    You could not

    I would not talk about me

    My heart thought it was not worth it

    I just mirrored you

    So you were just talking to yourself

    You hardly noticed I was there when you were sleeping

    How do you not sleep

    Remember what it is

    To be so sad

    In dispair

    For eternity

    Through the night

    Until you

    Just die

    Of exhaustion

    Waking up in the morning

    Confirmed my reality

    Of being alone

    There was no joy

    in the morning

    Only harsh lonley reality

    Whoever is in control

    Of all that

    Is powerful

    Is You

    You are Good

    Lead me to the cross-road

    Soul cry

    Final initial thought