Tag: randomThoughts

  • Dead inside

    Morbid a bit, but we all are a bit to sin

    Self-righteous by Darla Balthazar plays from my Spotify

    Lady in red…why do you look for the living?

    Oh Darla. So beautifully put.

    Because she’s dead inside. Giving her soul up to sin. That road leads to death and looks more like it everyday.

    However, she wants to LIVE. She has wandered so long, so far away from the living. From those Living in the light. The ones you see and can see all of them. Nothing to hide. I want to be like that. You fear the dead. What you see you do not like and what is underneath may be worse.

    What mercy God has to allow us to get comfort in any situation we surround ourselves with for a long time. Surround yourself with a beautiful community and loving people and you will be joyous. Be dropped / Raised by the dead and you may not be joyous, but you create some level of comfort in what you are familiar with. Even if we fall back into what is comfortable, the light will always pursue us. However, we must turn and step into it, to feel its warmth.

    Thank you God for pursuing me, relentlessly. You saw me walking toward the pit away from you, but you guided me to the narrow path to you. You are Good and I Trust in You.

  • Panda puff dilemma

    Am I saving any money buying WinCo bulk vs trader Joe’s?

    Bulky puffs

    Probably not

    Is one healthier?

    No, about the same

    Then why you doing that?

    The choice really comes down to what honors God more

    Are you dying?

    No, I can live off eating something else… But I want it….

    Ok… Well then if it’s the same healthiness… Does the sourcing of its resources (ingredients, labor, processing, packaging, etc) honor God?

    Well bulk is more efficient overall, but it’s more expensive…

    Well do you want to pay money to the institution that wants to be wasteful and disrespectful of resources (raw, disposal, laborers, etc)? Do you not trust that I will equip you with enough to afford to do the right thing?

    No…and I don’t “not trust”….You provide a way. You provide enough to sustain the way. You provide

    Thank you Lord for being the great provider

    Panda puffs it is

  • He speaks to me more in the clouds

    No really!

    Started getting anxious right after getting out of Mission Church’s 2nd Saturday Men’s Bible study.

    What am I going to do next?

    No particular plans. First free weekend in a while, between busy weekends coming up.

    Going to see if WinCo has mixed nuts and cereal.

    After that…?!?

    Uh oh. Getting a bit more anxious….

    Let’s… ah hm…. Put my mind in the clouds… And refocus

    After the Panda puff delimma

    I concluded I should be in the clouds more.

    I seem to take more seriously the things I hear and less on things I see.

    I am able to discern better

    Paranoia is a good test of levels of fears

    • Concern other people know you’re not focused with your head in the clouds?
      • Why? Concerned they care/think it’s wrong? Is it actually? Either focus in that place if it isn’t or stop worrying that it is
    • Concerned what others are murmuring bad things?
      • See above
    • Concerned you cannot do your normal functions?
      • Why? Maybe you aren’t as confident in your abilities when you are focused? Maybe you need to be more conscious even when you are in your normal state. Reassess you confident level.
    • Concerned about the safety of reacting to others around you?
      • Why? Maybe need a bit more trust the Lord will not throw you in harms way
    • Concerned?!
      • Why???

    I feel the guiding movements of music deeper

    I think this is my link to better hear the Holy Spirit

    Take my eyes away. They only focus on distractions

    That’s why I relax my lids. That’s all I need to see

    Wide eyes only gather more information on less important things

    🤯of the 5 senses we have only one transfers movement

    • Vision: majority of things seems will not draw you to movement
    • Taste: tells you what will or not sustain you. No matter the source, you are elated, enslaved, and surrender to it. Flavors are physically placed on receptors
    • Smell: puts you into a mood. Maybe joyful want to dance. The wind must guide scents to your nostrils
    • Touch: merely reminds you of the things that are of this world.
    • Sound: to be able to hear, something bounces the air and when it bounces into your ear, it rattles your ear drum

    I need to find more time I can dedicate to this because it gets me closer to the Lord