LamMoving

Tag: thankful

  • Dead eyes

    20251028

    Purgatory message

    I found out what dead eyes you were talking about that I wear sometimes. 
    It likely was worn when you were upset at me
    I felt shame for upsetting you even if it was only triggering a disproportionate memory
    I had to kill the behavior that got me there
    Or kill the language I used
    Or kill the road to this memory
    To keep your joy enduring
    I rather sacrifice any of those
    Than lose you
    It was a new me every time
    I needed it to grow my spiritual patience
    Each time to work closer to you
    Hoping you recognize my spirit
    Of Love for you
    You broke more of my unstable foundation of being able to see anything through
    You broke my spirit of being able to be logical in disagreements
    You broke my spirit of being curious of the infinite universe
    You broke my boundary from sloth to restful naps
    You broke my boundary from night time routines to necessary self care
    You broke my boundary of trust by knowing my boundary for unfaithful acts... And crossing it.
    But it was worth all of it 
    To still Love as you are right now
    I will love you now
    In hopes you will love me
    In whatever altitude you will allow

    I found my shame sore spots

    Disappointing someone I respect

    I have to kill the behavior that got me there

    I do not want to see that look

    Killing me

    Rather kill that behavior first

    Before another attempt happens again

    20251017

    I was accused of dead eyes

    Dead eyes accused me

    Eyes that lead to death of previous peace

    Eyes that have taken over

    What was

  • Total recall

    20251017

    After bursting at the seams yesterday

    I did not get a chance to wrangle one of the trains

    Praise be to God

    He had it wander back on its own

    Lured back by a current experience

    I snoozed again at 5

    Did I learn nothing from “Not a Fan” Bible study?

    That is twice

    Thrice and I officially have a bad habit

    I will do better tomorrow

    I got up and took an inhale

    Brush, moisturize, fiber

    With chosen season 1 episode 8 plays in background for Bible study later

    The actual post topic:

    Trigger: Nicodemus’ wife dressed him with Persian myrrh

    Snatched up and landed on the train of totem

    Pavlov at the simplest

    Random fragrant item

    To trigger a memory

    Or actual item during event you want to remember

    So with just a hint of it in the air

    You are transported to the scene

    That you can see, hear, taste, feel (the other channels/links that can also bring you to the same scene)

    Recall the moment

    In its totality of reality

  • How far is too far

    20251015

    After I chose who my avatar is modeled after

    The sinfulness of Halloween digressed the mission Church rooted group conversation was put up on my heart

    I recommended prayer for discernment..

    The conversation with Benson regarding what is too far in old testament law was connected to that event by some unknown spiritual thread

    Maybe because they both need discernment..

    The question that Kelli asked:

    How far is too far

    to believe everyone’s opinion on the sinful nature of Halloween?

    Has the same spirit of Benson of

    How far is too far

    To follow old laws?

    Do not ask me for an answer

    I am not the judge

    I can only share my experience and opinion

    On the representation/manifestation of the spirit of God in this world and the spiritual world

    Seek… 🔗 the truth

    Find an answer rooted in the Word

    That you are convicted to believe

    An answer that has firm foundation

    Yet still humble

    Understanding His thoughts are still much higher than yours