LamMoving

Tag: cloud7

  • Not the same

    202605110443mh6f8

    Wake inhale gummy brush hair teeth eyes coffee latte moisturize worship dance

    My attention was snatched by background lyrics

    I've got to tell my story (I'm not the same, I'm not the same, I'm not the same)
    -Hero (live) by Amen music, Aaron Moses

    That was the trigger for Sendy that night

    She is not the same

    She is rebranding

    When I said I knew her

    She heard she was the same still

    From when we were together

    But she has grown so much

    Since then

    Just as I have

    We are a better version

    Of ourselves

    We are spiritually connected still

    Going thru growth together

    Even when we were not together

    Around the same pace

    And are both feeling upward in spirit

    New growth

    Does not change the trunk of the vine

    You are the same at the core

    Beautiful

    And now you are blooming

    Fragrantly

    A different state of being

    But still the same soul

    I love

    Steadfast soul

    Final initial thought

  • Rebuttal

    20260510mh5f7

    Inhaled a deep holding breath of prayer

    That the Lord help guide me

    In this little session

    Of nourishment physically (mmm steak)

    Of nourishment spiritually

    Just going about life

    Learning about myself

    Learning I can discover what I like

    Like how to cut a steak

    To make the texture more enjoyable

    Neither are wrong

    One is just more enjoyable

    Subjective

    I do not need validation from others

    To know I enjoy it

    For myself

    Sendy argument: 

    You are going to get bored and leave me again

    Rebuttal:

    I do not get bored

    I get creative

    I was forced at a young age

    To learn how to entertain myself

    My worth tethered me to others

    That were not interested

    In my interests

    I learned how to turn on the screen saver

    I learned how to imagine simulations

    I learned to not share them since I was not asked

    *snatched heaven

    Like rain on a tin roof

    By blessing of for blessed by ashnic86

    *Godwinked I spilled my coarse salt

    That I just bought from WinCo

    As I sang in worship

    I brushed the unsalvageable pieces into the trash

    And it sounded like rain on a tin roof

    As it landed on the paper in the trash can

  • Not dumb

    Recognize how to survive

    You got to do whatever you wanted

    Eat whatever you wanted

    Go where you wanted

    Mom was a passive authority

    Dad was an unreasonable and absent authority

    You seeked out joy in self desires

    Until you were taken advantage of

    And realized you had no support

    Just as I realized I had no support during the divorce

    Everyone just pretended it did not happen

    Maybe I am crazy and it is not supposed to make you feel anything

    I barely know how to recognize my feelings of joy

    I cannot process this kind of spirit crushing realization

    You figured out how to check the school, job, bills check boxes on your own

    Frustrated comparing to others in envy or spite

    They had more support

    Unfairly

    I recognize it because that is me

    I did not know how to do any of those

    I asked

    I was not guided

    I was not worth teaching

    I had to figure it out on my own

    We figured it out

    Got to the same place eventually

    With different routes

    But we are here

    Now

    Logical
    Whatever that means

    Final initial thought