202605100401mh5f7
0321 Zen wake nightmare potty
If nudged to wake
Wake
Ask God
If He was speaking to you
Since I could not hear still
I asked
About revealing my heart’s desire
What I wanted for myself
I wanted to be wanted
Not abandoned at night like my mom did
I wanted to be talked to
Not down to like sister did
No one was interested in what I said
I wanted interactions to play
No one liked my hobbies
Did not feel like anyone listened
I asked about finances with no answer
I asked about music
I was not the delight of anyone
I was not told what was right
I was only told everything I was doing was wrong
I did not feel safe to talk
My words were criticized
For volume
Disinterest
Disgust
You are my delight
Humor is the moment of realization of the truth
Creative silly thoughts
Hilarious white head wall
Creativity in simplicity of rocks and sticks
You are not worldly culturally
You are a vulture above it
Seeing it
Knowing it
Being away from it
In your own world
Closer to the world world
The role of food in life is tiring
So funny because it is enjoyed
Yet a chore
*Godwink… “This is not the end” fear is not my future by maverick city music … Encouraging*
What have I learned about you
To use against you?
That I have not participated in?
You have made reasonable leaps of reasoning
Just a funny
Creative route
“it’s like 3-4-5 except the last one is 7 and swap is with the first number”
I am not interrogating to use against
Just fascinating that I want to know more
About a person that thinks that way
Being single has just become a dull ache
Like achy tired muscles
Like monotonous soul crushing job
Like the chores of cleaning, laundry, eating
Are you grateful for when you were pain free?
When was the last time that was?
When you were with me?
But it also meant feeling more than a dull ache of pain
As I slowly find my worth
I feel similar to all those things
That is why I dance
I found a reason to recover my achy muscles
Dancing helps the muscles
I hated my job yet could not reconcile leaving the responsibility of paying the bills
If I had a dog, I would take more attentive care of her than me
Give her routine
Each chore I do for her
I will gain as well
Stop attempting to get to know me
But I just love you more every time you talk
Just talk about something you like