LamMoving

Blog

  • Not dumb

    Recognize how to survive

    You got to do whatever you wanted

    Eat whatever you wanted

    Go where you wanted

    Mom was a passive authority

    Dad was an unreasonable and absent authority

    You seeked out joy in self desires

    Until you were taken advantage of

    And realized you had no support

    Just as I realized I had no support during the divorce

    Everyone just pretended it did not happen

    Maybe I am crazy and it is not supposed to make you feel anything

    I barely know how to recognize my feelings of joy

    I cannot process this kind of spirit crushing realization

    You figured out how to check the school, job, bills check boxes on your own

    Frustrated comparing to others in envy or spite

    They had more support

    Unfairly

    I recognize it because that is me

    I did not know how to do any of those

    I asked

    I was not guided

    I was not worth teaching

    I had to figure it out on my own

    We figured it out

    Got to the same place eventually

    With different routes

    But we are here

    Now

    Logical
    Whatever that means

    Final initial thought

  • Recognize pain joy

    After filling out my profile

    Recognize joy is not known without pain

    Not the pain of me constantly hurting you

    The pain that you remembered your past

    The past will always be with you

    But you can let go of the weights those memories carry

    Like paint on a masterpiece

    You cannot save all of the leftover paint

    There is a working time for it

    Then it dries up

    And cannot perform its purpose

    So it is discarded

    Be grateful for its provision

    And the beautiful marks

    It left behind

  • Dating profile

    After being delighted

    I want to do everything

    So I end up doing nothing

    All of it would be fun

    Let us just do something

    All of it can be fun

    Just looking for someone to have fun with

    Whatever you want

    Painting

    Rocks

    Nature

    Meh I do not care for news

    Or what someone else that does not influence my perceived life is doing

    Or fads

    Or clothes

    Or perception from others

    Especially if they have unreasonable costs associated

    There are too many free fun things

    That paying just does not make sense

    I just want to have my own fun

    I am seeking God’s purpose for me

    I am being guided by the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ

    I am seeking marriage

    I am seeking children to raise

    I am seeking fruits of the spirit