LamMoving

Tag: randomThoughts

  • Fall up

    20251206

    Committed to waking up early for a deep breath of prayer at 4:20

    Starting playing a game

    *snatched fall up rules

    I read

    I do

    You read

    you do

    I grab trust instruction cards… 🔗

    I make visible “no judgement” card

    You choose one trusted slow song

    I play on repeat

    *

    With God

    Real exercise of imagination

    Asking how to fall up

    Walking back and forth on 9 tiles

    Refocus on *no judgement* card

    Half open relaxed eyes

    **snatched relaxed eyes

    Relax your eyes

    **snatched defining activate

    Flex bicep 💪🏽

    Relax Open arm flat

    Flex bicep half way

    Relax Open arm flat

    Imagine an immoveable dumbbell

    Replace activate for flex

    Replace deactivate for relax

    **

    Deactivate eyes 20% more

    Relax

    Recognize that it requires more energy to open them

    Than keeping them as they are in this moment

    **

    Feel activated shoulders

    Weighed down

    Refocus “no judgement” card

    Shift around

    Familiarize with new weight

    Feel it getting heavier

    Really sink down

    Slowing down your pace

    So heavy

    Labored breathing

    Push your stomach earthward

    So heavy

    Breath deep

    Stand still

    **snatched hypnosis caution

    Pull your heart earthward

    So heavy

    remember to protect it

    **

    By first going down

    There exists reference of up

    Put your thumb up 👍🏽

    You read

    I Flip through all trust instruction… 🔗 cards

    ***snatched trust instruction

    Safe to trust – This silly little exercise

    No shame – In this Game

    No embarrassment – no wrong way

    No judgement – invitation

    ****snatched card instructions

    Of trusting instructions

    ****

    Hence forth

    I As Trust card holder

    I Seal lips

    *hand over instructions

    You hum only

    Validation

    Or disapproval

    Unless

    I give consent

    To help read instructions

    ***

    Grab belly button

    *Refocus on “No judgement” card

    Open hand grab

    Or close fist

    Pull it skyward

    So much

    legs straighten

    *Refocus on “No judgement” card

    Move

    Go up more

    Lift your heels

    Higher

    Slowly let down

    Heels only

    Pull forward one tile

    Pull backward two tiles

    Pull forward zero tiles

    Pull back

    Repeat on beat

    Pace forward backward

    *Refocus on “No judgement” card

    retracing step

    Or circle

    Thumb up 👍🏽

    Grab your heart

    Lift skyward

    Lift left skyward

    Lift spine right skyward

    On beat

    Lift straight up

    *Refocus “No judgement” card

    continue stepping

    Or heels planted

    Thumb up 👍🏽

    Grab chin

    Hum

    Push chin forward

    Hum

    Pull chin back

    *Refocus random trust card

    Play hum chin trumpet 🎺

    On beat

    *Refocus random trust card

    Ballet finger gently on top of head

    *snatched ballet puppet

    Pull head skyward

    Imagine gravity reversed

    Skyward

    Stumble skyward

    Fall up

  • Play date

    20251125

    Sitting waiting in the doctor office

    Went back to my mental train head quarter

    To ride down the thought of just wanting a play date

    Someone to play with

    No one wanted to play with me

    I played with others

    Played the game they wanted to play

    It was the closest I could get to playing what I wanted

    To have someone there

    And not be alone

    Interwoven with being yelled at for doing things wrong

    Interwoven with not knowing what I am doing

    Interwoven with annoyance of asking for help

    Interwoven with feeling stupid

    People flustered when I ask for help

    Because I do not know what I want

    Because I have not explored myself

    Because myself did not have value to explore

    Because my dad did not value me to stay

    Because I did not feel I had value to be paid attention to

    Because the only attention I got was met with annoyance and obligation

    Because any time I seeked help it was shot down

    Because the curiosity was killed me in

    I was a shelled vessel moving with the ebbs and flows of life

    Never knowing anything about the shell I had

    Until the mysteries of the waters

    Washed me on the shores of a hermit crab

    That fit inside me perfectly

    But I was crowded with things that did not belong in my vessel

    Things I held on to because it works for others

    And I hoped it would work for me

    My mom shaved her head in prayer for my sister’s pregnancy

    Because it worked for someone else

    Not because it was a calling on her heart

    Because she would do anything to help her daughter

    That hermit crab made a real comfy home in the shells she found

    She found so many and was able to collect them

    And make a wonderful home for herself in so many of them

    Making it cozy enough to only fit herself

    I kept getting larger vessels

    Hoping the the space would be filled eventually

    Hold the space for someone

    That wants to be there

    I do not even want to be there

  • Freeze frame

    20251112

    Gummy breathe. Breathe. In the name of Jesus. By charity Gail

    You have three choices of movement every second

    Continue going to where you’re going, pause where you are, go back from where you came from

    Continue forward, pause and stand where you are, step back where you were from

    **snatched binocular

    Look down a binocular

    Imagine seeing something amazing out there

    Maybe it’s a beautiful waterfall

    One that is glistening in the summer sun

    That is tickling your desire to escape the heat

    One crashing just enough to make a smokey mist

    A midst that smells of cold salty air

    **Snatched Jesus every little thing

    While frozen framed

    ***

    With out looking around

    Someone shouts what a beautiful day!

    You realize you are on a cruise

    And it is warm

    Suddenly something jumped in the distance by the waterfall

    ****snatched pretend

    A world of possibilities

    Game before “we get started”