LamMoving

Category: flesh

  • Distractions

    202603200511mh6f7

    Wake to mom closing door at 0430 on the dot

    Leaving after staying for 3D4N

    Two inhales and a gummy celebration

    Great having her visit

    But throws me out of rhythm

    If you do not think you are anxious

    You have not been graced with revelation

    Of having your ability to automatically inhale/exhale shifted to manual drive only

    It is the highest priority

    You have not been graced with revelation

    Of knowing the creator of the gear shift button

    It is to be feared

    *snatched down to my level

    Depression of bordem

    Lazy to make a game

    Lazy to think of others

    Good volleyball player

    Focuses on self improvement

    To defeat the other

    Command control from partner

    Joyful volleyball player

    Focuses on duration of PLAY

    Focuses on highest score

    From combined players points

    Focuses on uplifting others to your level

    Focuses on improving the opponent

    By not making the 3rd hit absurd to receive

    Showing off superiority

    Make it a game of improving the other player

    If you know they are sensitive

    Then be supportive and constructive

    If they are open to improving

    Then be more assertive in righteous alignment

    **snatched three omen invite

    Perfect timing Liz heart stirs to send me Warrior by Damien Balli

    ***snatched 2v1

    Make sure to bring in the advocate

    Uplift one another

    All are my loved neighborly friend

    Two are one entity

    If one falters to answer the joyful memory

    The other uplifts milestone reminders

    *iv snatched uplift response game

    Out uplift each other

    Response

    Compliments

    Honest

    Each wild response

    Penalized or rewarded

    With two explanations

    Example of complimenting blue eyes

    Does like the color blue and why

    Does not like the color blue then why it is a compliment

    *iv return

    Iron sharpen iron

    Both sides of the net

    Spirit of all players

    Pour more or less into lower cups

    *** return

    Divine timed Godwink #2

    Third

    now that I slowed down

    And sober minded

    Revelation I did not deeply hug mom leaving

    Because she never did

    Forgive and love like a neighbor

    Revelation I did not tell her I loved her

    When she called to report safety

    ***snatched submarine submerge into caverns of the mind

    Radio up to surface

    To trust safely help return to surface

    *** unsnatched

    I over thought calling back

    I, just this morning, made a genuine decision to not use the tools  gathered and formed in this sober minded garage

    (no messaging others revelations)

    Before leaving the garage

    As to be too anxious to use

    Possibly misusing

    Cool off the excitement

    I will not call her

    Until after I leave this garage

    Or

    I will take the next opportunity we interact

    **ring ring**

    phone lights up

    Godwink *3

    As she called to provide more advice

    I told her I loved her at the farewell of the conversation

    She is so used to “bye” being the end of the conversation

    I am not sure she heard before hanging up

    It is all a distraction

    Final thought

  • Safe

    202603120613mh6f7

    No hangover from a late night dose of Sendy

    I was Feeling the vibe

    I was not allowed to explore the boundaries

    I was told it was not safe

    I was shut down to adventure

    I was not allowed to anything

    I was only allowed to tail along

    I was not questioned or berated if I smiled

    Fake happiness

    I did not know

    Where boundaries were to stay away from

    I was not allowed to ask

    I did not know what I was doing wrong

    I was not allowed to ask

    You were shown it was not safe when they leave

    You were not able to explore your boundaries

    Inside of a deep relationship

    That journey is tiring

    Since it is a new neuro pathway

    Since it is tiring it needs to be worth it

    You need to stick around for anything

    Because I do not know what kind of help I will need

    Assume I know nothing

    I am new here

    Assume I have some imaginary gold chain

    That was actually made of lead

    Weighing me down

    These neuro pathways are a difficult construction site

    I will be there for it all

    It is safe

    Final thought

    Outro: Sabbath by Tekoa, Watobi

  • Relate

    202603111345m2f6

    Relate to nothing feeling clean enough (messy home cleaning floors, organizing)

    Relate to succumbing to vice

    But not too deep into hard drugs

    But wanting to feel something

    Food. Drink. Scream. Smoke. Frustration

    202603112013mh1f7

    Relate to having the fridge empty for less stress

    202603021037m3f4

    Driving back after backyard bowls bday breakfast with Benson

    Relate by for King& country

    Sendy constantly on my mind

    Relate to the dumpster being the new home for spring cleaning

    Relate to my world Unraveling by diving into the past and learning about Jesus

    Relate to the refrigerator. Anxiety of being filled

    Relate to needing a whole day laying around and doing nothing

    Relate to being disappointed in people

    Relate to daily simple tasks being so difficult

    Relate in the awe of the glory of creation

    Relate to eating everything

    Relate to eating nothing