Real control

202605190444mh5f8

0432 wake inhale potty gummy

Control potty speed

Change from a light switch

To a dimmer switch

Real control is doing that

With your emotions

To be able to control the switch

It needs to all be off

To know what it feels like

Like feeling around in the dark for a light switch

feel around

You can find it by choice

Or it can be found for you by someone else

My emergency kill switch

Was found early

My mom and dad showed me how to find it

With guilt

Then anger

Then abandonment

Guilt to stay

Anger to go

Waking up alone

Seeking safety in dad

He left

Seeking it in mom

She left at night

I woke up crying alone

For a long time

Until mom woke up from the closet

At least she is here

She just does not want to be around me

I guess love is not to be close

Just love from a far

By just being there

Is love

She provides the food

So just trust her

Tame the lion

Of love

Of anger

Comfort the child

Of sadness

Of pain

Look around

Find compassion

Find forgiveness

Find freedom

Godwink of counterintuitive

Control

And power

Good is Good
aLl the tkme

Final initial thought

Everything you know

Is true

Just incomplete

Control/power/memory

Purple rock

I cannot convince you of anything

If I could

You would be convinced to be with me by now

You do not listen to me

About me

You could not

I would not talk about me

My heart thought it was not worth it

I just mirrored you

So you were just talking to yourself

You hardly noticed I was there when you were sleeping

How do you not sleep

Remember what it is

To be so sad

In dispair

For eternity

Through the night

Until you

Just die

Of exhaustion

Waking up in the morning

Confirmed my reality

Of being alone

There was no joy

in the morning

Only harsh lonley reality

Whoever is in control

Of all that

Is powerful

Is You

You are Good

Lead me to the cross-road

Soul cry

Final initial thought