Vouch for honor

20260113

4:15 excited for the 5 am joy so I inhaled up immediately

Recently back into rhythm of routine

Disappointed I did not have enough worship wake bake dancing time before the joy of seeing sunrise yesterday

I talked with DatMike last night for 3 hours

I felt over shared Mary’s situation

The responses and questions from DatMike

Made me feel like I was misrepresenting her spirit

I found myself defending her honor

(new to recognizing the sensation)

**snatched step into memory reenactment

Recall every sensory Feeling

Time travel

**

That I muddied up to begin with

**snatched graced with grace

Shame of over sharing story released

By praying for guidance

By replaying the story to God

And pleading my case

The Accuser’s statement

Should not have brought her up at all

My plead statement

It was natural/organic

It was on topic

It had a purpose of representing how I felt

It was a fact

It was in a safe space

It was confided in safe company

**

Distant indistinguishable echoes of Job’s bad friends’ advice

I was defensive already from conversation

Because of my holiday choice

And opinion/advice given

**snatched deny an itch

To know flesh vessel denial

To know flesh vessel rebellion

Recognize desires/urges to engage in physical activities (the instance that borned this thought: hunger for pizza and social acceptance at Japan planning session) that I confidently know the consequences (LP, risky barking spiders, social implications, stewardship of time)

Deny a thought of a red apple

Deny a thought of stubbing your toe

To know mind denial

To know mind rebellion

Recognize forgetfulness

Recognize derailing trains of thoughts

Recognize replaying fears

Recognize replaying of anger

To know your heart

***snatched raised by Family Matters

I was urkel…

Urked family

Who were who matter

An orphan

To the main characters

*iv*snatched snddng is who you are

Get up and walk

Wake up to the present

You merely forgot how to walk

You may not feel different

Like when you earned your driver’s license (mind/flesh)

And how it is a life changing identity

Capable logic and body

Find the heart/spirit of change

When you realize getting a driver’s license is difficult for other people because it is a privilege (age, study, sports, anxiety, cost, availability)

Nothing about the license has changed except your perception of it

It forms the perspective of the mind and flesh (comparison, envy, superiority, peace, joy)

Makes you feel either uplifted or downcast

You make it part of your identity

Why license Joy here now

Why appreciate what you have when you have it

Imagine given 10k and a jet ticket to your dream vacation

Taxied to the best restaurant

Taxied to your most luxurious (appropriate) entertainment

Imagine you ran out of money

How do you get around?

Driver’s license seems less of your idenity

Do you want to …be healed…I mean go back home?

How do you get back?

To the restaurant?

To the jet?

Imagine you woke up in the middle of the night confused and forgot you were traveling

Imagine you were sitting there now and suddenly realized you forgot how to stand up

Your mind and body can be fooled

Your heart will bring you home

Recognize current reality

You are not being hypnotized

You are not being sways by the waves and currents of the world

So long as your home bears spiritual fruits

Remember who you are

Remember who I am

Jsnkhnglm

Johnson Khuong Lam

And I thank

YHWH

*iv*

Moms sarcastically admonishes (heart voice)

Big brotherly advice (heart voice)

Sisters annoyed of mere presence (mind voice)

Infrequent aunty more often than not pleasantly welcoming (heart voice)

Other friends fit in better (mind voice)

Father was missing from my thoughts (missing heart voice)

Until I met my Heavenly father

***

Deny what brings your joy now

To know how your heart rebels

And recognize how you remember

Remember God

Remember Jesus

Remember Holy Spirit