Not dumb

Recognize how to survive

You got to do whatever you wanted

Eat whatever you wanted

Go where you wanted

Mom was a passive authority

Dad was an unreasonable and absent authority

You seeked out joy in self desires

Until you were taken advantage of

And realized you had no support

Just as I realized I had no support during the divorce

Everyone just pretended it did not happen

Maybe I am crazy and it is not supposed to make you feel anything

I barely know how to recognize my feelings of joy

I cannot process this kind of spirit crushing realization

You figured out how to check the school, job, bills check boxes on your own

Frustrated comparing to others in envy or spite

They had more support

Unfairly

I recognize it because that is me

I did not know how to do any of those

I asked

I was not guided

I was not worth teaching

I had to figure it out on my own

We figured it out

Got to the same place eventually

With different routes

But we are here

Now

Logical
Whatever that means

Final initial thought